Today. I hurt my daughter. I accused her of something in that "you always" sort of way. It was stupid. It was petty. It was painful. Our computer was acting up. That's all it was, but it should have been a simple fix, and it wasn't. I was frustrated. It was driving me crazy, and she was right there. She was the last one to use it. It was just the computer.
I blamed her, she tried to explain, and I wouldn't listen. She went to her room- her constant sanctuary away from the tirades of her mother. A sanctuary she needs more often than I care for her to need it.
After I cooled down, I called for her to come and give the computer thing we were working on one more try. I googled for a solution, and thought I found a good one. She came back down to the computer room to try and sync her ipad one more time.
I tried to play off our previous incident by just being cool. Pretend like it never happened. That wasn't going to work. She apologized to me and tried explain one more time that she didn't mess with the computer. That is when God simply reminded me that I had hurt her. i was supposed to be the safe haven in her life. I am supposed to be the one who builds her up, but instead, I tore her down.
I looked right at my precious, oldest child and said "I'm sorry." I knew immediately that it wasn't enough. I told her that I was frustrated at the situation, but I WAS WRONG. I asked for her to forgive me. I told her that i was upset because this simple computer issue was making me feel stupid, obviously she didn't cause the problem, and I know that I hurt her when she did nothing to invoke my wrath.
I asked for her forgiveness, which she gave freely. I am a blessed woman to have such a caring, forgiving child. It is so undeserved. We went on to fix the problem together- both in our relationship and the stupid computer.
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